I know it's a bit early, but over the last two days I have spent much of my time decorating for Christmas. Judge if you want... but it's happening. I love Christmas. Whether it's Christmas in July at camp or real life Christmas it's fantastic all the same. I have this idea of what it should be. And so far, in my 24 years of life it has never met my expectations.... but I can hold on to that hope that someday it will.
This year, I thought might be the year.... but I have quickly realized that it will not. That's okay, I guess it will give me something to look forward too. Regardless, I love it all the same. I love to get people the perfect gift and then watch the Joy on their face as they open it. I love to see the christmas lights on the snow, and sing every christmas song that plays on the radio at the top of my lungs. I love to drive around and look at lights, drink hot cocoa, and play in the snow. I love to cuddle up by a fire and listen to it crackle and pop as I stare at the tree. All of these things make my heart happy, and I look forward to them each year.
Having my own house to decorate is kind of amazing. I want people to walk into my house and instantly love christmas and have a smile on their face. I had great hopes of decorating the outside of my house, but unfortunately I don't see that happening anymore...fail. So I'll just have to make up for the outside, by totally going crazy on the inside. Prepare your hearts.
Sometimes I think about how frustrated God must get with us...well me really. There He is wanting more than anything for me to fall more and more in love with Him each day, and I totally take advantage of Him and keep him on the side burner. He is number one, most of the time. What? That is so messed up. When I think about any guy that I've ever liked, and I think about how it takes a short time to decide you like someone and then begin falling for them and then I think about this amazing God who has been waiting for us to fall in love with Him our whole lives, it makes me sad. It's so stupid, really. I have this amazingly fantastic life changing God wanting me so desperately to fall more in love with Him... and what do I do, squeeze Him in when I have time. Not okay. I wish that God was more tangible. I want to see him, talk to him, hold his hand, and give him the biggest hug I've ever given. In those moments I know that I will find true happiness and feel totally safe. What a glorious day that will be... selfishly I wish it could be now, but how sweet it will be.
"Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." -Phillippians 4:7
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