Waiting.

So here I sit.. at the Detroit Metro Airport. I hate flying. But I do it when I have to. But man does it stress me out. From the time I got all checked in, until the time my flight leaves is almost three hours... so here I sit getting more and more anxious and nervous... But luckily I have my laptop, so it's helping the time to go a little quicker! But our stupid airport doesn't have free WIFI, so I had to pay...LAME! lol. Oh well, it was worth it i guess. So sometimes I feel like no one reads this.. but IF anyone does, please pray for me this weekend! I am very nervous and anxious about it  and I know that the only way I will get though it is with prayer and ultimately God!

So yesterday while my kids were in the gym, I put on a praise cd... and I started singing, and dancing, and clapping and having fun. One by one, each of the kids started doing the same! It was so amazing. As I watched them sing and dance I couldn't help but feel like we were worshipping Him together! And the best part was hearing 2 years olds singing "Yes Lord, Yes Lord"... This went on for almost a half hour and it brought tears to my eyes... that's what it's all about. That is why I do what I do.. Because I love kids and want to plant those seeds into them now! It was one of the best experiences of my life!

Alright.. i'm done. I'm going to pray and try to calm myself lol... Have a great weekend everyone!

Whew..

This weekend has thrown me for a loop. It has been filled with many hard thingss, huge changes in plans, and a lot of time spent talking to God. All in all, it's been pretty challenging. However, even in the midst of all of this, there has been a theme... and it's God. My life lately has been a struggle in some areas and I thought that I had done a really good job of hiding that, but it came very clear that that was not true, and that my struggles were seeping into other areas. But with that, God showed me how He works in me. God finds people and situations to hold me accountable, and though it was hard... it needed to be heard. 


Let me explain some of this a little. I want to move out.. a lot! I'm very ready and everything was falling into place perfectly... and because it seemed so perfect, I really didn't spend a lot of time talking to God about if it was right for me... instead I jumped ahead, got myself super excited... and then Friday, it all fell through... He held me accountable to the fact that I didn't really pray about it at all, and just went with it... and it wasn't right for me, so he stopped it. And I'm glad He did...I just feel like I'm back at square one.


This weekend was filled with many similar situations... some easier to process and some harder... But through them all, I know that I need to focus on working on the junk in my life, which will bring me closer to Him.. And so in the end... It's all okay.


I'm so glad that I have Him in my life. And that through all things I can always see Him. I don't know how I would get through my life, without Him, and I'm glad I don't have to find out.
I'm also glad that no matter what happens, he is there to guide me, and catch my when I fall...


This morning I woke up with these lyrics stuck in my head...
"Strength with rise as we wait upon the Lord, wait upon the Lord, I will wait upon the Lord..."
And I thought it was weird because I haven't heard that song in probably 6 months... and then I walked into church this morning, and that was the first song that we sang... it was one of those moments, where I feel God's presence and I am blown away... it was so amazing.


One last thing... In church today we looked at these verses, and they applied to my life right now in amazing ways...
"Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying." -Romans 12:9-12


And once again, I was blown away by how He takes all areas of my life to teach me and show me things, and how though I don't always see it, it all works together in some way... He really amazing, and totally blows my mind constantly. I am so unworthy and so undeserving of his love and grace, and yet he gives it to me so willing and so abundantly... I cannot even describe how I am feeling right now... and that's okay. Nothing earthly can describe His greatness. 

A new year...

Happy New Year. It's 2010... Man, I am starting to feel old. 2009 was a great year, and I hope that 2010 is even better. I have a list of things I hope to accomplish this next year, and I'm hoping that God's list for me is the same as mine!

Many nights I have a hard time falling asleep. Normally I would lay in bed annoyed, and eventually angry that I couldn't fall asleep. This happens usually about once a week. Last semester it was every sunday night... and the glorious part of that is that I would have to be to work Monday mornings at 6:15... So falling asleep at 1 or 2, wasn't really the best idea. This happened tonight. I got into bed around 2... And by 2:30 I realized I just wasn't ready to fall asleep. At first it made me mad cause I was tired and wanted to sleep, but then I realized maybe I'm up for a reason...

So I decided to read my bible. And I decided that anytime I can't sleep, I will get up and read my bible until God is ready for me to go to bed. Because clearly, laying in bed for 2 hours trying to fall asleep is a waste of time, and I could be spending my time in a way that is so much better... Oh and I also decided to be better about either blogging or writing in my journal about what I have read.. I think it helps to process it, and maybe even get some feedback on it!

Last year for Christmas I got this awesome one year bible... I got about a month into it and then got lazy with it, and never continued. It is my goal to read through the Bible this year. Please pray for me with this. I am bad with commitments like this and I am also known for starting a book and never finishing... but I really want to do this... And if you see me and remember, ask me about how i'm doing... accountability is a wonderful thing!

So I read day one. It was the first 3 chapters of Genesis. And though I've read the creation story many times, I picked up some new things tonight. Let me start of by saying, sometimes when I read the bible I laugh and I think that God must have a great sense of humor. I love the way things are written, and sometimes I feel as though I totally understand the authors personality as I read... does that make sense?

Anyways... I love that after the first 7 days God looks at all that he has made and says, "And it was very good". I like this because in my mind, I think about it as.. DUH! It's good, you made it! Could it be anything else? But I also think that that is a very relatable thought process. If I work hard at something (nothing any where near as amazing at what He does btw), when I'm done I like to look at it and feel good about my work. In that moment I can relate to how God felt in that moment... on some level.

As I read about God creating Adam I stopped to really think about how He did it...

"The the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man's nostrils, and the man became a living person." --- What?! That is the most amazing thing that I have ever heard. I can't even imagine how fantastic that must have been, and I wish more than anything that I could see it... Is anyone with me on this? And then I felt the same way again, as I read about how He Eve... Taking a rib from him to create her... Wow.

Then I read about their sin. And I have to be honest, I kind of approached these verses with some negativity I think. Probably because we've all joked about how it's all Eve's fault for tempting Adam..blah blah blah. But then I read it, and all of that went away. My heart really focussed in on this:

"God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God knowing both good and evil"

I have read this story many times, but I don't think that I have ever really thought about what that verse meant. And looking at it, I feel kind of silly. But tonight I got something totally new from it. I know that before this event, there was no sin. And that because of it, there was. God told them not to eat it, so that we would only know good, and not evil. Now clearly, He knew what would come, but He didn't want us to have to know of evil. The stupid snake was satan tempting her and she gave into that temptation, and because of it, everything changed drastically.

That verse also made me realize how powerful our words are. The snake was able to make it sound like God was keeping something from them by saying, "you will know both good and evil", but really He was keeping bad from us. As a christian I have the power and ability to use my words to do quite a few things: help others, lift people up, glorify God etc.. or I can use my words poorly and hurt others, tear people down, and turn people away... The scary thing is, is most of the time, I don't think we purposely try to use our words for bad, but if we aren't wholeheartedly using our words for Good, we are no different then that snake.

I have never in my life had the desire to read something and pick it apart piece by piece like I have done tonight. My prayer is, is that God will continue to help me to do this. I feel like I have really learned a lot tonight from reading this, and I want more than anything for this to continue...

I hope this did not bore you...