Warning...

This blog might be a bit on the grumpy side... sorry ahead of time. And it might result in a pity party... again I'm sorry.

As I sat at Thanksgiving dinner, I thought back to a year ago... when I told myself, "this time next year, I'll have a serious boyfriend to bring to holiday stuff"... only here I am a year later, in the exact same position. And then as I looked around at all of my cousins, I realized that I am one of the only few left that isn't married or engaged... and that didn't help me to feel any better. Then I had two pretty horrible thoughts...

1. Am I going to be single forever?

And 2. Is there something wrong with me, and that's why I'm single?

Don't get me wrong.. I'm not desperate.. and I won't settle for any guy who comes my way... I'm frustrated and I'm ready to find THE guy for me. I'm just ready. Ready for a real relationship, ready to be thinking about marriage, and ready to have a family.

And in my mind, I think... Well if I'm single because God's not ready for me not to be... than I'm okay with it. And honestly I only want to be in a relationship if it's what God wants for me... I'm just sick of waiting. And the holidays certainly don't help at all...

I just need some reassurance that neither of my horrible thoughts are true.

I know that God has a plan for me, and that it's better than anything that I could ever plan for myself, and that is so exciting. But I also am impatient. And I need some hope that it will happen.. and hopefully sooner rather than later...ugh.

That's all.

Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful and blessed.

November already?

Well it's been a while. It's been a crazy few weeks. I made my first student loan payments this month, so far so good. I think i've figured it out, so that I can make it work. It will be tight, but starting in January I will start making some money each week for work that I will be doing for this summer, and that will be a huge blessing.

This month so far has been kind of lame. I've been sick a lot, first Bronchitis, then I had to get a CT scan done on my stomach and I got super sick from the barium (so so so gross), then I got the stomach flu... all in like 2 weeks times. Thank God that my work is so awesome and understanding. But missing work so much hasn't helped my financial situation any, but what can I do? I'm just praying I won't get sick anymore...

Today I got test results back about my stomach problems I've been having... no gluten allergy and no Crohn's... PTL! And the CT scan looked normal... All good news, but i'm kind of frustrated that they don't know why my stomach is such a mess... hopefully I'll get some answers.

I'm worried about my mom. Be praying for her. She went in for a check up and they did some routine blood tests and then called her and told her she needed to come to go over the results... i'm nervous and worried. Please pray for her. She's scared and worried. Her appointment is tomorrow night at 5:15...

On to some good news! I am going to Ohio this weekend to visit some of my favorite people from camp! I am so excited, I have missed them so so much :) Yay!

Alright that's all... have a great night!

Only 44 days 'til Christmas!!!---Oh yes the countdown has begun :)