Whew..

This weekend has thrown me for a loop. It has been filled with many hard thingss, huge changes in plans, and a lot of time spent talking to God. All in all, it's been pretty challenging. However, even in the midst of all of this, there has been a theme... and it's God. My life lately has been a struggle in some areas and I thought that I had done a really good job of hiding that, but it came very clear that that was not true, and that my struggles were seeping into other areas. But with that, God showed me how He works in me. God finds people and situations to hold me accountable, and though it was hard... it needed to be heard. 


Let me explain some of this a little. I want to move out.. a lot! I'm very ready and everything was falling into place perfectly... and because it seemed so perfect, I really didn't spend a lot of time talking to God about if it was right for me... instead I jumped ahead, got myself super excited... and then Friday, it all fell through... He held me accountable to the fact that I didn't really pray about it at all, and just went with it... and it wasn't right for me, so he stopped it. And I'm glad He did...I just feel like I'm back at square one.


This weekend was filled with many similar situations... some easier to process and some harder... But through them all, I know that I need to focus on working on the junk in my life, which will bring me closer to Him.. And so in the end... It's all okay.


I'm so glad that I have Him in my life. And that through all things I can always see Him. I don't know how I would get through my life, without Him, and I'm glad I don't have to find out.
I'm also glad that no matter what happens, he is there to guide me, and catch my when I fall...


This morning I woke up with these lyrics stuck in my head...
"Strength with rise as we wait upon the Lord, wait upon the Lord, I will wait upon the Lord..."
And I thought it was weird because I haven't heard that song in probably 6 months... and then I walked into church this morning, and that was the first song that we sang... it was one of those moments, where I feel God's presence and I am blown away... it was so amazing.


One last thing... In church today we looked at these verses, and they applied to my life right now in amazing ways...
"Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying." -Romans 12:9-12


And once again, I was blown away by how He takes all areas of my life to teach me and show me things, and how though I don't always see it, it all works together in some way... He really amazing, and totally blows my mind constantly. I am so unworthy and so undeserving of his love and grace, and yet he gives it to me so willing and so abundantly... I cannot even describe how I am feeling right now... and that's okay. Nothing earthly can describe His greatness.