Beauty...

7 Down...  a lot more to go.

 If you don't know what that means.. I'll tell you! I started WW a week ago today. I weighed in today and I lost 7 pounds my first week. I'm pretty pumped. I can't take all of the credit though..I have prayed everyday for God to help me with this, because it is something that I cannot take on on my own. But with Him I know that anything is possible.

I remember when I was younger (high school, early college), thinking about how I needed to change so many things about myself. I had a list of reasons why I was ugly and not good enough. And though I've kind of moved past those thoughts in my life, I found myself thinking about that the other day. My list was short, but to me it was the reason that no guy could ever fall in love with me. Here is my (old) list. 

1. I had horrible teeth

2. I had Psoriasis covering most of my body

3. I was overweight

So as I thought about this a week ago I realized that I was almost to where I wanted to be years ago (and honestly where I want to be now, I just don't look at it in the same way). 

I got braces, so my teeth are great. I'm managing my skin with medicine and lifestyle. The only thing left was my weight. 3 hours later I joined weight watchers. 

Please don't read this and think that I think that i need to be skinny and perfect to get a guy. That isn't what I'm saying at all. I think that when I made that list years ago in my head it was more about feeling confident in myself and less about finding a stupid boy. 

I didn't join to get skinny so that boys will like me. I didn't join to make others happy. I joined and am doing this to make myself feel confident and happy with who I am. I also feel like I'm wasting part of my life being unhappy with myself. God has made me beautifully in His sight, he's given me a relatively healthy body, and instead of loving myself, i've spent many years unhappy with his work. That's crap, and I wish I could take those years back. I can't. But instead I can work on "reshaping" his work back to where it should be. So that is what I'll do. 

I know not every week will go as easily as this week. Most people don't lose 7 pounds in 7 days. And trust me I'm eating and being healthy. My prayer is that not only will I lose weight but that I will get in better shape, feel better, and love my outerself as much as I love my innerself.